Myhre's article, One Bad Hair Day Too Many, addressed many of the femininity concerns brought up in previous readings, addressing the black and white gender roles, the fear women have of being called masculine, the patriarchal system that silences women's protests because of that fear, etc. Her paper, however, is much more accessible than any of the others we've read because of her personal transformation and direct involvement in the shift from the feminine mold to ambiguity. This ambiguity is intended to shock the straight and narrow individuals into rethinking issues of gender roles, female propriety, and the source of the value of a woman. Another reason this story resonated with me more strongly than other readings is because it sounds very similar to a path my older sister followed. As a middle and high schooler, my older half-sister struggled with bulimia and self-esteem and depression issues. It was only recently that I put the memories of hiding snack foods in the oven and high cabinets together with the knowledge of her disorder. She never fit the traditional "girly" role, and was more interested in pursuing art, music, dance, singing, and cultural studies than involving herself with friends and traditional young female activities. To escape the nastiness she faced by her classmates for her slightly heavier weight, thin hair, intelligence level, and strong opinions, she chose to be home-schooled by her mother. In her college career, she transfered repeatedly, largely because of her fear of being locked into situations in which she wasn't comfortable. Although one of the most brilliant people I know, she transfered from well regarded academic and music school to community colleges. With less pressure and less of a commitment, she felt more comfortable at these schools, although extremely bored. It was in this period of her life thats she shaved her head to escape the derision about her now very thin hair as a result of her bulimia. She finally found Mills College, in California, an all girls school with a relatively large homosexual population. Once there, she was able to flourish more than she ever had because the women there embraced her not for her femininity, makeup, jewelry, hair, clothes, etc. but for her knowledge and impassioned debate skills. Although always thinking she was heterosexual, upon leaving Mills, she reflected on her lack of success with men and how appreciated she had been by the female community at Mills. She chose to experiment and explore with women and now finds herself in the interesting position of preferring women because of their attitudes and opinions rather than feeling a strong internal desire to be with women over men. I don't think her sexual orientation has a label and I don't think it needs to. She chooses people if they are fascinating and make her feel at home, a sentiment discussed by Myhre. My sister, like Myhre, chose to reject society's obsession with the girly culture; she could not survive in the world that was being forced upon her. The roles and lifestyle paths society forces women to fill causes severe mental illness, fear, and depression because of the extreme social disapproval one faces if stereotypes are rejected. Women need to embrace their fear and use it as a catalyst to challenge patriarchy.
To conclude, I would like to share my friend's recent facebook status. She is an elementary school teacher currently in graduate school training to be a school psychologist.
Today I told a six year old girl she looked cute. She told me, "I 'm not cute ". Then she sucked in her stomach. She told me, "now I look cute ". She said she was fat. This girl is not overweight. What is wrong with our society?
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